Part XIX: Hey You, Let's Fight: Episode 1: Big Shirtless Huygens

He's back

Huygens took a vacation of his own. After the jolly good fight he had, he figured his electrons needed a rest. He unplugged and went wherever avatars go when they're off line.

And now he's back. All rested and rearing to go. As fun as it was to dress up, it's always a bitch to revert back to his preferred look. You have to take off this, detach that, and sort through an ever expanding inventory. It's nice to be finally getting quick about it though.

And better still...Torchy's back too! I asked him how his family was. He said halfway back to Orientation Island he realized he didn't have a family and that he was just scripted by some pone on his computer. He ended up spending the entire two weeks in Free Sex Land. I didn't ask.

So now we ponder what to do. Tim's comment last time got us thinking. It does seem Huygens' most memorable adventures have resulted from a confrontation of some sort. Usually provoked by us. Torchy especially. And we usually go about it in a bizarre or abstract way.

But what if we took the direct approach by simply walking up to people and asking them to fight? How often would it work? We were about to find out by undertaking a new quest. Huygens stripped down to pants only and threw on his supper fast cape. This time I set the speed to 30mph. No head cronching induced death this time.

We're still in Gotham City. Huygens never left when he left, so he showed Torchy around. Just like two weeks ago, practically no one is here. There is one person in at the moment so we decide to buzz on over and test the new charge given to us by us.

Well what do you know? It's the Dark Knight himself. Good thing I changed or that might have been awkward. Besides, he's got the look down pretty good. The bad thing, it looks like he's away at the moment. No point in asking him for fisty-cuffs. I'm kind of glad.

2nd Life is always upgrading. It seems like every month or so they require you to download an updated version. A minor annoyance. I knew there would be one waiting when I logged back on after the hiatus. But this time, I actually noticed a change. Check out the still above and see how dark it is....now watch when I whip Torchy out....

See. He's actually giving off his own ambient light now! Mark this in your calendar. 2nd Life just got slightly more real! Slightly. Nice effect though.

So where's the most likely place to get into a fight? I type in "fight club" into the guide and a few measly choices come up. I pick one that seems fighty and teleport away.

It seems the only residents of fight club are some slutty looking women camping for dollars. I'm starting to believe 2nd Life is equal parts camping for money and stupid dancing. I do think the camping spot that takes the form of a hobo sleeping in newspapers is a nice touch though.

I go ahead and ask, "Anybody want to fight?" No one responds. I guess they're too busy earning more money for more advanced prostitute duds or something. No sense in wasting more time, I put back on my cape and soar up, up and away.

I fly no more than a few blocks when I run into The Shipyard. That's right, the very same Star Trek role-play site I tried to join and never heard back from. Small world this 2nd Life.

I could never gain access to it other than a couple of rooms. Who knew all I had to do was fly into it from its next door neighbor.

Oh will those nerds ever get that ship built?

It's no wonder they never got back to me. Nobody ever comes here. I see only one person in at the moment. Since I finally got into this place, the least I could do is ask its only occupant if they want to fight.

I find them on the top floor of some administrative building in some office. Looks like she's a robot. Her name title indicates she's busy. That might mean she's cleaning inventory or scripting or something so she might be able to hear me. I say, "Hi." No response.

Huygens is not detoured yet..

I tell her all about my woes with the place and how I thought it was lame to have this place and no one show up. I told her about a few of my adventures. I asked her if she was every going to get a second leg.

I guess I needed talk or something. She seemed to be a good listener. And after I vented enough, I felt the time was right to ask the question.

I asked, but she never responded. Was anybody manning their avatar anymore? Since no fight was to be found here it was time to leave. I typed in "bug" in my guide and see an animal adoption site. I bet there's someone testy over there. Off I go....

I immediately come across a woman and her tiny friend with wings who excretes bubbles. They were checking over squirrel selections so Torchy and I ambled on up and asked, "Would either of you two like to fight?"

The little winged girl laughed. Her friend politely responded, "No thanks." I said, "Oh well, thanks for your time" and left them to their squirrels. At least someone responded this time.

Things were looking up.

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