Part XIII: The Death of Admiral Earth

After our big fall from orbit, we picked ourselves up and started flying north. Boredom has befallen our quest seekers yet again. Maybe a pint will help our spirits. We touch down at the nearest Irish-sounding pub, called Molaskey's.

The place was deserted, like most 2nd Life venues. I even had to jump behind the bar and serve myself. Hope the owner doesn't mind. I poured a pint of stout and wandered over to the fireplace to enjoy it.

This was relaxing but we still felt listless. We were out of ideas. A lot of times, interesting things happen if you simply wander around. But, the road does take its toll. I felt like staying place somewhere for a while or something. Torchy suggested we get up and dance. Maybe it would clear our heads.

So we danced the hornpipe for a while. But even after a few minutes, Torchy had to concede that this too was not working. Oh well. Let's be off then.

Maybe a little shopping might pass the time. At this point, you ask how can we shop while being flat broke? Why, you simply head here...

The Gamer's Brand Freebie Store! They have so much free junk here it's not even funny, but is. The first thing I "bought" was a log cabin in a box. Now if I ever get some land, at least I'll have the house. I picked up a few more boxes of weapons(including light sabers), some famous avatar mods, a box of Celtic and planet patterns and some martial arts pose scripts.

I nabbed many a crap and flew off to the nearest body of water to be alone to play with my new toys. Then I came across something I must have grabbed and forgot about. It was a "fast flying cape". When you wear it, you can fly at tremendous velocities according to the tag on the inside of the collar.

"Do you know what this cape means, Torchy!?" He said he was afraid to ask but did, and I said, "We can be superheroes now!" I bet I can throw together an outfit from all those cool patterns I got. It'll be awesome! Torchy did not feel the same passion for this adventure as I but he grudgingly went along, seeing how we had nothing else to do.

There. I used the Earth pattern on a couple of pieces of spandex and behold...

Say hello to Captain Planet!
Na, that's the stupidest name I ever heard.
Say hello to Admiral Earth!
Yeah, that's it.

Now, to don my magic cape and go fight some nonexistent crime!

Now, I should have probably read the screen above when I put the cloak on. I says that the the speed settings are 0-10,000. 0 being the slowest and 10,000 being the fastest. What I failed to notice was that the cape was set to 10,000 to start.

I took off out of the water like a bat out of hell. I attempted to understand what I was seeing at first, otherwise I would have gotten a screen shot of the event. The only way I can describe it is Huygens and Torchy became giant pinballs in the sky. There are may forcefields around, with people's private land and all, and we bounced off all of them at super-sonic speeds.

Before I could even think about killing the fly command, another first happened. A message popped up on my screen simply stating:

You have died. Transporting back to home.

My god, Torchy. We're dead. What does this mean and where is this "home" we're transporting back to?

Wow, I haven't been here since Part II. This is where it all started for us. I guess I've never changed my home(your default starting point) since our whole adventure began. I can't believe we died. We seem to be no worse for it though.

I had fallen from orbit and many great heights before but this never happened. Although when you fall you always fall at the same speed and never speed up enough to kill yourself. A failsafe for people like me who like jumping off of things. But the combination of break-neck speeds, some forcefields and my neck pushed me out of the failsafe zone I wager.

So much for the short-lived career of Admiral Earth. I put on some regular clothes and buried the cape deep into my inventory. OK, Torchy. Forget about that superhero business. I catch the sound of a torch trying to mute its laughter. It's a very odd noise.

Since I'm back here I'll check on another familiar site, the good old ship where that chick turned my pelvis into a bar of soap. Looks like she's gone to freshen other people's mid sections now. It was nice going down memory lane though. I've been all over the board in 2nd Life so it's hard for me to find places I've been before.

This little nostalgia has only amplified our listlessness though. Drinking didn't help. Shopping didn't fix it. Death didn't cure it. Maybe I just need a little familiarity. I like Star Trek. I wonder what neat sites they might have for that here. I could sure use a junket on a starship right about now. I typed "Star Trek" into my guide and a lot popped up. Mostly they were merchandise related shops. No, we did not want to go shopping again.

There were two others that were role-playing sites. Now given the ordeal I went through on my last role-play site visit(crotchety vampires), Torchy expressed caution. These role-geeks don't like being disturbed. I know, I know. But we'll make it a short visit. Only long enough to see if I can snag a free starfleet uniform.

Crap. I'm at the site called "The Shipyard" and the uniforms are not free. All I need is 1 measly stinking dollar too. Out of curiosity, I picked up one of the applications that you need to fill out in order to join the site. I read through a little bit of it. Your adventure can consist of several occupations to choose from, or you could be a civilian and wonder around the future city of San Francisco. It only costs 15 lindens to join.

I'm at a loss of what to do now. I decide to amble on over to Ten Forward(starship lounge) and think things over. Aside from a shuttle bay, Ten Forward is the only other room accessible to non-role-playing people like myself.

This is kind of nice. I could get used to hanging around here for a while. Too bad I'm not a member though. Sad.

Wait a minute! I like to consider myself a chronicler of 2nd Life and all its domains, don't I? Why not do a little undercover reporting and go inside one of these role-play sites to see what they're all about. See what day-to-day activities are like for people in them. My in-your-face style of reporting hasn't gone over well with most people yet so let's try the spy approach. Plus, I know all the Trek lingo pretty well. I should be able to blend in nicely. Little will they know I'm watching and documenting their every move. I'll be a 2nd Life Jane Goodall!

But which one to choose from? There are two places I'm considering, The Shipyard and United Federation Starfleet. I like The Shipyard already, but I should check out the other just in case it's better. I headed over to the Welcome and Recruitment Room at United Federation Starfleet to see what the skinny was.

It had quite a number of applicants hanging around in the lobby. I decided maybe I should put on a disguise, something a little more Sci-Fi, so as not to attract too much attention. I checked in my pocket for any avatar mod that might work. I found only one that was space related...

Hopefully this would work.

This did not work.

I attempted to walk up to the nearest recruiter, a Lt. Commander Data Spectre, and see what they had to offer, but was assaulted with laughs, gawks and jibs from all the other people in the room. Why did they think my light saber was so funny?

With all the fuss that I was causing, I didn't get to learn much. I left the room and took off my disguise. I stuck around in the background to monitor their chatter. I listened to all their superficial and meaningless banter. I think this made the decision for me that I was going to go with The Shipyard.

OK. I've made my decision. The Shipyard it is. The only snag in the scheme is my lack of funds. I require 16 dollars(lindens) to make this happen. Before I do something so heinous as getting a job, I thought I might try getting my needed funds like your average deadbeat...

Yes, Welfare Island. It's sad, I know. But to hell if I'm getting a full time gig anytime soon. They say it's the fastest way to earn lindens. You get paid for just being in the place.

Man, this place is dumpsville. Couldn't they make Welfare Island a little more pretty? I mean, the dead grass pattern on the ground is a touch much if you ask me. Let's just get our cash and get out of here, Torchy.

In order to make more cash, the island wants you to fill out all these surveys on other websites. Screw that. I stuck to the lowest rung of the ladder. $2 for ever 10 minutes I stuck around in this hole. I did find a somewhat palatable view to look at while camping finally.

After 20 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I had earned $4 and was ready to cash out and get the hell out. I pushed the cash out button but nothing happen. As far as I know, I did everything correctly. What the crap! Goddamn 2nd Life just cheated me out of my welfare check. I don't know what I did, but I could never find out where my $4 went. Bollix! I would have been a quarter of the way to my goal had that worked.

Then, Torchy's memory started to serve him. He reminded me that there had been other camping-for-dollars spots in a couple of the other places we had been. Why not try one of those? Now I knew why I kept that torch around.

Now let's see. Where's a nice place to earn some moolah....

(puff) "Come here often?" (puff)

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