Part VI: Animal Liberation

Before I leave this sector I've been languishing around in, I thought I would check in on Charlot and see if she got that foot of hers built. To my surprise, she was nowhere to be found this time. But it appears like she's been a busy bee.

This giant floating crystal sculpture was not here a couple of days ago. She got her foot built and then some. Nice work, Charlot, wherever you are. I'll try to come back and visit you from time to time.

I found a relatively deserted market place to teleport to. I figured I better perform a weapons check and see what ordinance I was hauling around before I started having fun with it.

But first, since I was packing now, I was thinking my avatar needed a harder edge. I ditched the glasses, gave myself some spikes and grew a little more facial hair. There. Now, let's see what goodies I got.

It would appear I am the proud owner of a large musket. I can find no powder or balls in my inventory though. I also own at least three automatic assault rifles, a semi-automatic pistol and a few humorously oversize grenade launcher and machine guns. Solid.

Among the weapons, came some other neat items. One is a snowball launcher. Another, and a fast favorite, is a mini-harpoon hand attachment, kind of like Scorpion in Mortal Combat. It's great because I can wear it on my left hand and hold something else in the right. I also have some Martian-looking ray gun thing that I haven't messed with yet.

I think Harold was overstating his ability to knock people off. I found that most domains in 2nd Life have protective rules governing the area. Oh, sure. I could whip out my gun everywhere, but most Servers wouldn't allow bullet fire. The market I was in allowed me to fire my guns, but the projectiles did little harm to the few people in the area. I had the most fun with the snowballs and harpoon.

Someone was away from their avatar, so I started practicing stuff on her. I chucked a snowball at her. It bounced off like a tennis ball. Tough snow. I practiced the harpoon on her which was enjoyable. When the harpoon hit her, this large tire-looking thing appeared at her feet, disappeared and then she ran at me at full speed until she was directly adjacent. I did it a few times on her which is why I knew she wasn't at the controls at the moment. I certainly wouldn't have put up with all the crap I was doing to her if I was her.

Oh, one more funny thing about the harpoon. When you put it on, your console states, "Now reel them in and finish the kill!". Neat, huh? I'm hoping my console doesn't tell everyone else that when I wield it. Might cause a scene in a crowded place.

Since I knew my assault limitations in most areas, what sort of fun could I have with these guns other than looking cool? I know! I'll take up a cause!

Hot damn! I'm going to the zoo and liberate some digital animals! I am now Huygens, leader of the Virtual Incarcerated Battered Rasterized Animals Team Official Release Squad! Or, V.I.B.R.A.T.O.R.S. for short. I must teleport to the nearest animal detention center to fulfill my destiny.

This zoo is actually kind of nice. It's pretty. It's got wonderful sculpted shrubbery and a giant pink elephant statue breathing fire. That's kind of cool. Wait a minute. I must not forget my goals. Think of the animals, Huygens. To my dismay, I start to see the injustices seep through the shiny veneer. I see my first set of prisoners locked behind their virtual pen. Don't worry, wild boar and marmoset, I'll find someone around here and make them pay. Hard.

Well, there were only a couple of people in the zoo at the time, but I did find them. I hovered over them, letting the bile fill my mouth at their lack of empathy for the poor and mistreated creatures around them. This backgammon game of theirs was about get a lesson in humility, goddamn it.

Still above them, I flew straight up into the air. At a certain point, I turned off the fly mode and let myself plummet two miles, building and building momentum, until finally crashing to the ground smack dab in the middle of their game board.

The players were understandably shocked at first. One exclaimed, "What the Hell!" and the other yelled, "Jesus Christ!" and then followed up with, "I think this guy moved one of my pieces!". I peeled myself off the ground, rifle in hand, now ready to complete what I sent myself here to do.

I told them who I was, who I was with and what I was here to do.

They laughed.

I'm pretty sure I got my message across though. I don't think these yokels will be playing board games again without thinking about the poor creatures around them. After admonishing them, I told them my work was done and to carry on.

Thinking back now, I think maybe they didn't get it though. As I was flying away I heard one of them ask, "What the hell was that all about?" with the other responding, "Beats the shit out of me. It's your move.".

I guess next time I need to work on my propaganda a little more or maybe take up a different cause. Either way, at least I freaked out a couple of backgammon playing, consensual animal-confining assholes.