Part I: Escape from Orientation Island

Unfortunately I require both hands and a killer's mindset to play my online games. Holding a sleeping baby now puts a kink in that kind of fun. So, I thought I might slow things down a little and try interacting with people on the web that didn't involve busting a cap in the back of their heads. Something I could do one-handed.

A friend at work had shown me 2nd Life about a year ago. 2nd Life is an interactive virtual world where people can explore, via a dorky avatar, and meet other people and just hang out. Oh yeah, here's the nice part. It's free! Well, it's relatively free. The software is only a 35mb download. A quick registration and bam! You're in.

Here's that "relatively free" catch. If you want to buy land, fancy clothes, or avatar mods you need to fork over some credit card digits. $6.00 a month gets you started and gives you some land to build on, entertain on, or run a business. I came very close to rationalizing the small amount and almost payed but luckily I came to my senses.

No. I will dedicate time but never my cash to this endeavor. I decided I would be a free-wheeling, homeless, penniless vagabond wandering there to there with no affixed locale and adventure in my heart.

When you register, you're allowed to pick a first name but you are forced to choose from a long list for your last name. I wanted "Huygens" as my first name and scrolled through the list of lasts and spotted "Sideways". Seemed like a good match. Huygens Sideways now needed an avatar. I picked a generic one from their small list and I was good to go.


I kind of wanted a Shaggy from Scooby-Doo avatar since I planned on being a nomad and solving mysteries but ended up with this Wayans brother looking guy. You can tweak your avatar's shape and form but not its appearance. That costs. I did manage to give him real squinty eyes to give a slight stoner feel, though.

When you first enter 2nd Life they throw you into this place called Orientation Island. It's a place where you can learn how to do things like pick up objects, talk to people, tweak your form and get around. One of the cool things about the virtual world is that you can fly. It beats walking everywhere and gives you a SuperNeo kind of feel.

Unfortunately, you have to complete four tutorials in order to escape Orientation Island and enter 2nd Life. They're pretty simple but annoying. I learned how to talk to people and hold a torch! I decided that I was going to keep the torch as long as possible. It would be my friend. Oh yeah, I learned how to sit on things with my torch.


The conversations I had on the island were pretty basic. Everyone was a newbie and expressing that fact. One girl(?) kept asking me to be her boyfriend, and I kept telling her I was married. She seemed to think she was ugly too. I told her I didn't know why I was holding a torch. She seemed confused and walked away to the next guy and asked to be their girlfriend. I caught a little of the conversation. He seemed like a nice guy and was advising her not to be so forthcoming and beware of jerks. I wished her the best.


On the intro screen, when I started 2nd Life up, it said over one million people were registered with around 60,000 logged at that time. New people were logging in as I was completing my tutorials. It's hilarious. When they first appear they're naked. To my pleasure, four new women were joining as I walked by, but I didn't stick around too long. I wanted to complete the tasks and get the hell off this island and into the real 2nd Life.


Oh. I did stick around for one thing. Across a bridge was a simulated 2nd Life city where you could practice driving a car. My natural "bend the rules" nature took over, and I attempted to drive back over the bridge to the main part of the island and cause some mischief. The servers were against me though, and my car disappeared as soon as I reached the gate. I could not run over anybody in the training city either. Poo.


At last, my chores complete, I opted to transport out of there. And where did I transport to?


Help Island!? How many friggin islands are in here? Fortunately, there were no required tasks to do here and I had the choice of leaving right away. I had that rash intention but then thought twice. They say once you leave Help Island you can never return. There may be some useful free things here. And to my fortune there were...


I got this boss, spider-print, vinyl jacket and some suede pants to go with it at the free mall. Plus, they go well with my torch.

Now I'm ready. Huygens Sideways is going to the 2nd Life. I'm not sure what to do first. Chat it up with bystanders? Try to steal some food? Go squat on someones territory and build a few cubes?... Stay tuned for Part II: The Beginning!